I’ve often said that Home Owners Associations bring out the absolute worst in people and, in fact, I have revised my vision of Hell from a Dante-esque spiral of quaint old world tortures to a post millennial mayhem of HOA meeting marathons, TSA crowd control, and vuvuzelas.
I am a member of a HOA. In addition to the decisions by committee, one of the big drags of semi-communal living is “those neighbors”. They are the ones who never follow the rules. Never.
So in a colossal waste of time, I created the new rules as if it’s “those neighbor’s world” and there rest of us are just unpaid extras.
- Do not put your garbage in the dumpster. Line it up on the ground around the dumpster. You’re probably exhausted when you reach the dumpster, and despite the fact that the garbage truck will back up over your strewn bags, you’ve done a lot already. And as long as the rest of us are lifting the lid, why not take care of your crap at the same time.
- While we all pay our HOA dues, mortgages and property taxes, that does not mean access to our designated parking spots should be respected. Whether returning from the airport after midnight or coming home from the grocery store in the middle of the day, discovering the vehicles of your friends and relatives in our spots is no big deal.
- Don’t know who the buzz kills are that harp on about supervising young children at the pool but drowning statistics are probably overstated. When it comes down to it, squeezing in little “me” time while the kids are splashing around, well, who’s to judge?
- And finally, with regards to your dogs running loose several times a week, who hasn’t seen and been moved by Born Free? The fact that my leashed geriatric dog is freaked out when they come bolting at him while we’re walking, and I’ve got to circle back to the house while fending them off, is probably the adrenaline jolt we both needed – thank you. And those people that remind you of the Lakeway ordinance – humorless fascists.